


All I Haven't Said

by RoseByAnyOtherName (badxwolfxrising)



Series: Adventures in Pete's World [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Grinding the Corn, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Oral Sex, Post Bad Wolf Bay, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Pregnancy, Sexy Times, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Telepathic Sex, Telepathy, This Might As Well Be Babyfic, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 21:18:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12262278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badxwolfxrising/pseuds/RoseByAnyOtherName
Summary: "In one kiss, you'll know all I haven't said." -Pablo NerudaRose and the Metacrisis Doctor on that first night post-Bad Wolf Bay, sharing their dreams and a too tiny bed. You don't have to imagine what happens, you can just read it here. CW for frank discussion of infertility problems and pregnancy. If you hate those things steer clear, this is angst and smut but it might as well be babyfic.





	All I Haven't Said

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for one of timepetalsprompts weekly prompts. Spoiler alert: the prompt was Pablo Neruda quotes.

Today was either the best or worst day of her life, but she was damned if she knew which it was yet.

It had been a roller coaster ride from start to finish. First, the gut-wrenching, nervous anticipation the night before the mission, then the crying jags over the thought of never seeing her baby brother or Jake or any of her family ever again, followed finally by effervescent optimism when the dimension cannon had locked onto the TARDIS and she had just _known_ , just felt it in her gut, that this one would finally be the right one. The elation she had felt when their eyes had met, swiftly cut short by one errant blast from the gunstick of a Dalek they had both somehow failed to see. She’d lost him more than once that day, but the sound of the TARDIS disappearing from Bad Wolf Bay for probably the final time had felt like the worst sort of betrayal. Even now, hours later, she still felt like someone had literally cracked open her ribs, ripped out her heart, and left her there to slowly bleed to death. This was infinitely more painful than Canary Wharf had been. Then the Doctor hadn’t had a choice, what had happened had been nothing more than an awful accident. This time, he'd willingly turned his back on her and walked away without even saying a proper goodbye. Her world and her heart were completely shattered.

She’d had a chance at being reunited with the real Time Lord and he’d gone and left her with a cheap knock off, the equivalent of one of those not-Barbie dolls you’d get at the discount store when you were being fussy and your mum just wanted to shut you up. It looked mostly like a regular Barbie and you were happy enough as a kid to get one. A doll’s a doll, right? Except then you’d start to play with it or you’d try to change it’s outfit, and you’d notice how cheaply made it was. How it’s limbs were shiny, hollow plastic rather than smooth and solid. How the painting on the corpse-like eyes didn’t quite line up with the indentations in the face. How half the threads on the scratchy, nylon clothes were coming loose and the hair was too slick and god forbid if one of the cheap and tiny plastic high heels fell off, you’d never get that son of a bitch on there ever again. And if you weren’t careful, you might unintentionally pop their head or arm or leg off. 

Everything about it made her uneasy, but there had never been any question of whether or not she’d leave him behind. A doll was a doll, right? The Doctor had charged her with caring for him, after all, and even after he had so spectacularly let her down she couldn’t bear the idea of doing it to him, half a dozen universes away or not. So the other Doctor came along to Bergen with them to catch a zeppelin back to the UK. Problem was, it was the tiniest zeppelin she’d ever seen and there were only two sleeping compartments, one of which the two of them were currently crammed half-naked into because the air conditioning also wasn’t working and it was too hot to wear much else but knickers. This would literally be a dream scenario for her if the other person in question were the Time Lord himself and not a mere copy.

But that was the thing-the Doctor, this Doctor, wasn’t a doll, and he certainly didn’t look like a cheap knock off. Everything was the same as she remembered: the tousled, careless fall of hair over his forehead, the slightly quirky left eyebrow, the lips and freckles she had studied what felt like a thousand times, the wiry but surprisingly muscular frame under the pinstriped suit. His limbs were certainly made of flesh and blood, and his mouth, pressed desperate and fierce against her own, had been warm. But he only had one heart beat. Which meant he wasn’t quite Time Lord, but wasn’t quite human, either. He was different, and he was definitely not the Doctor, not her Doctor at anyrate. He might have the same appearance and memories, but something about him was just wrong and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. 

It was vaguely unsettling but she was still lying there, stripped down to her knickers in a too small “double” bed, pressed up against the half-bare body of a man wearing the face she had been fantasizing about for more years than she could keep track of anymore. And only a few short hours ago, that man had whispered “I love you” in her ear. So maybe all the rest of that stuff didn’t matter. Maybe that alone was enough, or would be enough until they could actually figure things out. But it was hard to think about all that now with him practically on top of her because after years of fantasizing about sharing a bed half-naked with the Doctor, she was finally actually doing it and just the contact of his bare skin against her own had her feeling the most turned on she’d ever been in her life. Her nipples were so hard they ached and she was squeezing her thighs together like she was trying to keep a pence pressed between her knees. She couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not, and she fidgeted uncomfortably, desperately wanting relief but not wanting to risk disturbing him. The timing couldn’t be worse or more awkward, but she couldn’t help it. She might notice some of the difference between the other Doctor and her Doctor, but apparently her affection-starved body didn’t. The last time she’d had sex had been almost two years ago on New Year’s with Mickey, in a fit of drunken lust and weakness. They’d both felt felt like arseholes afterward.

“You’re aroused,” he stated, answering the question of whether or not he was asleep.

She froze. She wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet, so she just denied his accusation. “I’m fine.”

“Right. I know I’ve only been half-human for a few short hours, but even I know that when a woman says she’s fine that it’s usually a trap. You don’t have to lie about it, I can smell your pheromones. Hyperarousal is normal for females of your species during ovulation,” he said, his voice somehow simultaneously clinical and casual. “Still got my finely tuned Time Lord sense of smell, apparently.”

“You sound like him,” she muttered, still choosing not to acknowledge the other horny elephant in the room.

“I _am_ him,” he replied softly, his voice wounded.

She felt the beginnings of a crack in her heart. She’d hurt him without meaning to, without even thinking about it. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this new Doctor yet, but she was quite certain that she didn’t want to be an additional source of pain for him. She wasn’t the only one who’d been abandoned in this universe with no TARDIS, she couldn’t even begin to imagine how the loss must’ve felt to him. “I’m fine,” she repeated, voice shaky, more to convince herself than for his benefit.

“It’s okay, I get it,” he said, resting his palm lightly on her leg just above her knee. “You’re not mad at me, you’re mad at him. But he’s two dozen universes away and I’m the closest, easiest place to direct that anger and it just so happens that I have his same stupid face, too.”

On some level she’d known this, but it sounded shittier when he said it out loud. “Your face isn’t stupid. And I’m sorry.”

He sighed, the weary sigh of someone who’d just returned from a war, literally. “Don’t be. If I were you, I’d be angry too. He made a decision for your life, for both of us, without even stopping to ask if that was what you wanted. He just assumed he knew best, like he always does, after you spent all that time trying to find a way to get back to him.”

“I thought he loved me,” she said, her voice breaking. “I thought we were...nevermind.”

“He loves you, don’t ever doubt that. But he thinks he doesn’t deserve you, either, and that you’re better off, safer, without him. He thinks he ruins the lives of everyone he travels with, that everything he gets his hands on eventually turns to shite, and he couldn’t bear the thought of watching you grow old or losing you again. So he left you with me, a half-human version of himself that can give you all the things he’d never be able to. He thought he was doing what would make you happy, honestly. He left you here because he loved you too much, not because he never cared about you at all.”

“He gave me a lot of things,” she said more defensively than she meant to. “He showed me the stars, took me across the universe, opened my heart and mind to the endless possibilities of the cosmos, and then was torn away from me. Being with him in the TARDIS _was_ what made me happy and I spent years trying to get back to that, only to end up here, back at bloody Bad Wolf Bay.”

“But he denied you quite a few other things that you wanted and needed as well because he couldn’t get passed his own stupid, selfish hang ups and insecurities,” he stated matter of factly, letting his hand drift up her thigh. “Things like...physical intimacy. It wasn’t that he didn’t...that I didn’t want that, too. It’s just that I was afraid. About what it would mean, how it would change things. About the fact that you were so young and human, and I was so old and not-human. But the thing is Rose...I’m more young and human now than I’ve ever been. But I’m also still Time Lord enough to know that you’ve been lying here for the last twenty minutes thinking about how it would feel to have my hands on your body and honestly, I’ve been wondering the exact same thing myself.”

“Wait...you read my thoughts?” she asked, her face and chest flushed pink with more than just anger. “You just took a peek in my head and didn’t even bother asking? Maybe you really are just like the Doctor when I first met him!”

He scoffed dismissively. “Well I didn’t exactly do it on purpose, but between the pheromones and the close quarters, you were broadcasting it like a bloody radio signal. Kinda impossible to ignore when you’re slightly telepathic. This body is a bit different, I’m still learning how it works, and I know you’re wondering how it works too because you’ve been thinking some frankly filthy and intriguing things.”

“I can’t stop thinking about kissing you!” she blurted out. “How electric and perfect it felt. Pretty sure I’m still wet, if we’re being honest here. Just from a kiss. But I don’t...I don’t want to do those things with you if you’ll just be doing them out of a sense of obligation and not because you actually feel that way about me.”

“For once, I am being honest. New life, new leaf. I don’t see any incentive in lying to you about my feelings...but I can hear your thoughts, and I know there’s so much you aren’t saying. You have so many doubts about me, and I don’t blame you, but I want to prove to you that if nothing else, my feelings for you are genuine. I didn’t just tell you that I love you because I thought you wanted to hear it, I said it because I meant it and it’s true,” he confessed. “And I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss, either, not for a minute. Because it felt like a tease, and I want so much more than that, and I’m not just talking about sex. Please, let me show you how much I love you. I know you felt that same spark I felt on the beach, there is already a connection between us, there always has been.”

“But how do I know?” she asked. “How do I really know how you feel? Christ Doctor, there were so many times I asked and you would lie straight to my face, how do I know that you aren’t doing that now? That you and I getting left here wasn't some scheme the two of you cooked up together and this is just a giant game of pretend for you. I can’t bear to have my heart broken by you again.”

“Rose, what do _you_ think the Doctor meant to say that day on Bad Wolf Bay before he got cut off?” he asked.

“I’d like to think that it was 'I love you’, but of course I don’t know for sure,” she answered.

“Have more faith in yourself and in the Doctor. That man, in that blue box out there somewhere among the stars, cried himself to sleep the day he lost you and again when he missed his last chance to finally tell you how he felt.” He cupped her cheek and ran his thumb along the curve of her jaw. “In one kiss, you’ll know all I haven’t said,” he whispered, pressing his lips gently against her own.

Something inside her head shifted, and her vision went dark. Stars exploded behind her eyelids and she was completely overwhelmed by intense feelings of love and protection that were almost tangibly warm. An ethereal melody wrapped around her, pink and gold and blue, like the sunrises they’d watched at Woman Wept. Gossamer strands of memory floated by-clasped hands in a Cardiff cellar, a stolen body and a stolen kiss, a tearful voice whispering forbidden words. But then there were other images, more like dream than memory-bare shoulders, the swell of a breast, an antique veil, an infant’s chubby fingers. She was only partially aware of the tears dripping down her cheeks as she realized that what she was seeing and hearing was herself, through his eyes. And then, almost as abruptly as it had begun, the hallucination (or whatever the hell it had been) faded and she snapped back into herself. When she opened her eyes, he was looking back at her.

“What was that?” she gasped, still trying to comprehend what she’d just experienced.

“You already know, it was the inside of my head. All my favorite memories of you and of us, all the poems I wrote for you but never recited, all the dreams and wishes I had for us but never fulfilled. You know the kind of life I lived, you lived it with me. It was utter chaos, and I lost battles almost as often as I won them and that was always how things were long before I met you. Even on the absolute worst of those days, I only ever wished I weren’t a Time Lord in the most fleeting of moments. But then I met you, and it seemed like all I could think about was how much better, how much simpler it would be to be a human. I used to lie under the TARDIS console, tinkering and daydreaming about our human life together. That was how much I loved you, how badly I wanted you. But I couldn’t permit myself because...well, Time Lord reasons. They all seem stupid now, but they made sense at the time,” he admitted.

“You really used to daydream about the two of us being human?” she asked, tilting her eyebrows incredulously. “What...what was that like?”

“Oh, it always varied. Sometimes, we’d meet at uni, sometimes while traveling. I’d be a teacher or an engineer, you’d be a painter or a journalist or something else brilliant. We’d almost always get married, and sometimes I’d take your last name, and you’d always look so radiant at the wedding that I’d end up crying. Sometimes we’d live in a house on a lake, sometimes we’d just travel, but we’d always be deliriously happy together, even if we did have carpets and a mortgage. Of course we wouldn’t be able to keep our hands off each other, so we’d usually have a big family. We’d adopt too sometimes and have a few of our own, and you’d have the most adorable little baby belly and be the absolute most devoted, caring mum. The minor details were almost always different, but the major ones were always the same-we were together and we were happy,” he said, taking her hand and threading his fingers through her own.

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest at the thought that both of them had been dreaming of the exact same things without ever realizing it. “That’s really what you used to dream about? You and me, getting married and making babies? That’d be enough to make you happy, after all the adventures, the TARDIS, the universe?”

“If it were with you, it’d be more than enough,” he replied earnestly. “Have I convinced you how much I love you yet or do I need to hire a skywriter? Because I will, just as soon as I have that whole job and money thing sorted out.”

“Shut up, you git,” she replied, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him close enough that she could feel just how aroused he was as well. It was maddening. She closed her eyes and kissed him again and even that was almost too much, but then his hand grazed her breast and the tension that had been coiling low in her belly unwound and the only thing she could do was claw weakly at his back and shudder against him as she came.

She buried her face in his chest to avoid having to look him in the eye. “I can’t believe I just did that. It’s been so long since anyone’s touched me like that, I just...gah! I’m so embarrassed.”

He chuckled softly. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not your fault I’m so devastatingly handsome I can make a woman orgasm with just one kiss.”

“Must be a side effect of the Metacrisis,” she teased, tongue poking between her teeth. “And _technically_ , that was three kisses, four if you count the one on the beach earlier.”

“I’d like to do a lot more than just kiss you right now,” he murmured, his voice hoarse.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, her mouth suddenly gone dry. “I think I’d like that, too.”

He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. “A kiss on the lips was enough to make you come, I wonder what will happen when I kiss you other places?”

“You should probably gather some empirical evidence on that,” she encouraged with more bravado than she felt. “You know, for science.”

“Ah yes, for science. An important and noble cause,” he said distractedly, his fingers working the clasp on her bra which, thank all of the gods and goddesses, fastened in the front. 

Gently, he pushed the straps off of her shoulders and helped her lean up enough to shrug out of the garment. He glanced down at her bare chest and then back at her face, biting his lower lip. She stared back at him shyly, heart pounding. His hands skated down her torso to her hips, where he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of her knickers and hesitated.

“What?” she asked nervously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing at all,” he replied. “I just can’t believe, after all this time, I’m finally going to make love to Rose Tyler. It feels a bit surreal, that’s all. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was at least a little nervous. I don’t want to disappoint you. I’ve got more hormones in me right now than a young Raxacoricofallapatorian in heat and I’m still figuring out how this body works.”

“Hey,” she said meaningfully, catching his gaze and holding it. “Whatever happens, know that you couldn’t possibly disappoint me tonight. Just us being here together is enough right now, like you said, and we’ve got the rest of this life to figure out how your body works. If it takes us a few tries to get it down, so what? At least the practice will be fun, right?

He managed a weak smile. “Right,” he agreed, finally gathering the confidence to take her knickers off. He slid them slowly over her hips and down her legs, finally discarding them on the floor beside the bed. Sitting back on his haunches, he gazed down reverently at her naked form. “Oh Rose...you are _so_ beautiful,” he breathed.

She blushed. “I don’t feel it. I got older while you were away.”

“You’re beautiful,” he repeated firmly. “I won’t hear any arguments on that one, I’m afraid. Non-negotiable.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” he replied, pre-emptively silencing her protests by pressing his lips firmly against her own. His mouth lingered over hers for one heated moment before moving to press against the soft spot on her neck just below her ear, eliciting a shudder and a moan from her. Nipping playfully at her earlobe, the tip of his tongue traced the shell of her ear before moving to kiss a burning trail from her shoulder, across her collarbones, down the valley between her breasts. He mapped her body with his hands and mouth, maintaining a languorous pace and lavishing special attention on the spots that made her sigh or squirm when he touched them. Even when no words were involved, he had a cheeky mouth. 

By the time he spread her legs to kneel between her thighs, she was as tightly wound as she had been before their orgasmic snog. He kissed his way from her knee up to her trembling thigh, rested his cheek against her skin and sighed deeply. Lightly, he drew a finger through her folds and around her clit and she wasn’t the only one who moaned. “My work’s half done for me, you’re completely engorged and soaking wet already.”

“Hey Doctor, human pro-tip,” she suggested gently. “There’s a better use for your mouth right now that doesn’t involve any ‘sexy’ talk that sounds like an excerpt from a discount medical textbook.”

“Point taken,” he said, sliding his hands underneath her thighs and burying his face between them.

Rose laid back and closed her eyes, but she was torn-it was her first intimate sexual experience with the Doctor, another part of her wanted to sit up and watch with awe that it was finally happening. Propping herself up just slightly on her elbows, she opened her eyes and looked down, almost needing to reassure herself that this was not just another dream or fantasy. The Doctor was still positioned between her legs, eyes closed, sweat dripping from the tips of his hair, and blissfully, achingly, stunningly real. His talented tongue traced teasing patterns into her flesh, applying a gentle pressure that was just firm enough to be maddening, but not intense enough to actually bring on relief. It was the most delicious sort of torture, and it was hard to keep her voice down and her body still as he continued his ministrations. The next time she dared to look down at him, his eyes were wide open and watching her as he slid first one finger inside of her, then two more, and began to gently thrust them as his tongue continued dancing circles around her clit. Squeezing her eyes shut, she grabbed fistfulls of the bedsheets, attempting to anchor herself to a world that felt like it was about to float away.

“Are you going to make me beg?” she panted.

“Mmmm?” he mumbled innocently, looking up. His fingers were still working inside of her. “Make you beg for what?”

“Don’t play coy with me now, Mr. Mindreader. You know what.”

“Maybe I do, but I really want to hear you say it.”

She sighed, but she didn’t really mind indulging him. “Please Doctor. Enough of the foreplay, make love to me. I need you inside me. Now.”

“With pleasure, Rose Tyler,” he said with a grin. After a moment of what seemed like consideration, his face fell. “Bollocks though...do you have protection?”

Now she really was incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? We’re about to consummate our relationship and years worth of unresolved sexual tension and you want to know if I have protection? Sorry, when Jake packed me for this last mission, I forgot to tell him to slip me a few condoms, just in case I had to stop and shag an alien or two while I was saving the bloody Earth.”

“You weren’t hanging out with Donna by any chance, were you?” he asked, an amused expression on his face.

“What of it?” she shot back, but she was smiling when she said it. “You’ve got good taste in friends, she was brilliant.”

“Yeah, she was,” he agreed wistfully. “I only took the best. Like her and Martha. And you, of course. You’re all brilliant. I nearly went off the rails after losing you, they kept me sane. Donna especially was so maternal. I really hope...I hope I inherited some of that from her. Because as a Time Lord, I was sorta rubbish at realizing what people needed and taking care of them.”

She recognized the look on his face, that weird, pensive gaze he’d get right before he fell down the rabbit hole and into a spiraling maelstrom of his own guilt and regret and knew she had to disrupt it. Both of them had suffered enough today, and in general. “Give yourself some credit. You _were_ about to give me what you needed, but then you stopped and asked me if I had any condoms instead.”

“I was just trying to be considerate! Consenting to having your universe rocked and consenting to having a half-alien impregnate you are two entirely different things,” he said, the corners of his mouth pulling into a smug grin.

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “You are _so_ corny. You traveled the entire universe and couldn’t find a better come on than that? Sex doesn’t end in pregnancy 100% of the time, and besides that, our DNA might be too different to be genetically compatible anyway.”

“Not to be a buzzkill, but you’re ovulating and I’m still marinating in regenerative hormones and chemicals, both of us are at peak fertility. I can’t know for sure if we’re genetically compatible or not without doing some tests, but if we are compatible these conditions are ideal for conception. Like, really ideal. Like you’d be more unlikely to _not_ get pregnant sort of ideal.”

“But you don’t know for sure that we’re genetically compatible?”

“Well not for sure, no, but the likelihood is pretty high it’s similar enough to make conception more of a probability than a possibility.”

“And you didn’t think to mention that before you started seducing me?” she asked crossly.

“Ah...not as such, no. Admittedly, I didn’t think about it until just now,” he confessed sheepishly.

Rose laid back and quietly considered the predicament. “Those daydreams you used to have, of you and me, where we got married and had children...you really want those things? Like really, honestly want them?”

“Well of course I do, I always did, now more than ever. But for once, I didn’t want to be arrogant enough to assume that those were things you wanted,” he answered, his tone measured. “I lived a dozen lives before you, I had a chance at having a family before. If it were just you and I traveling this world together, my single human heart would be full. But I think it’d probably overflow if there were a little Rose or Doctor Jr. running around, too. I could go either way. You spent a lot of time chasing around the stars to make me happy, I think it’s time I started trying to do the same for you. I owe it to you to let you decide for yourself what things will make you happy rather than trying to predict the future or decide for you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, with or without me.”

His admission was so raw and honest, she almost broke down and cried right there. “You swear that you love me?”

He seemed offended that she would suggest otherwise. “Rose please, you _know_ I do. You saw my thoughts, you know how I feel about you. Love isn’t a strong enough word for all the things I feel for you, but unfortunately there’s not a better word in English.”

She made an executive decision. “Well alright then, go on. Rock my universe. We’ve been waiting for this night for years and I’m not about to let a lack of condoms get in the way of that, make love to me.”

He quirked his eyebrows. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but so you know, there’s at least a 50% chance you’ll get pregnant, and the actual odds are probably even higher than that.”

“I understand, and I’m willing to accept any consequences that might arise from this decision, so long as you are too,” she said seriously.

“I know we’ve known each other for a long time...but it’s like we’re starting over again, in a way. We don’t even know what you and I are yet. I love you so much and I want to give you everything you want, I just...I don’t want you to do something rash and make a snap decision about something that could have a long lasting impact on our lives just because we were both feeling horny and emotional,” he said gently. “Our unresolved sexual tension will still be there in the morning.”

“When did you become so bloody thoughtful and responsible?” she groused. 

He shrugged. “New life, new leaf, remember? Listen...nothing would make me happier than seeing you all aglow, your belly swollen with our child, but only if you’re certain that’s actually what you want.”

“I’m certain that I’m not worried about getting pregnant,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “The doctor’s at Torchwood told me I probably never would. I hopped dimensions so many times looking for you, it aged my body and changed me. The ironic thing is I probably wouldn’t have known, but when Jake and his husband couldn’t find a surrogate they trusted I volunteered, and when I went in for the medical check ups and clearances, I failed. I’m sure they explained exactly what it was, but I stopped listening somewhere around the time they told me my uterus was ‘inhospitable to human life’ and my ovaries were damaged. Even if you somehow managed to get me pregnant, I probably wouldn’t stay that way.”

The Doctor moved from between her legs to stretch out beside her. He took her hand and began tracing soothing patterns onto the skin of her palm with the tips of his fingers. “How do you feel about that? Do you want biological children?”

“I didn’t think I did, not until they told me I couldn’t have them,” she whimpered, no longer able to hold the tears back. She turned onto her side and curled into him, burying her face in his chest. He draped his arm around her and began tracing the same soothing patterns on the small of her back. “I might never be able to give you the babies we both dreamed of.”

Gently, he pulled his fingers through her hair. “I know it’s not the point, but we could adopt, give a home to a child who wouldn’t otherwise have one. That’s a very Rose Tyler thing to do, helping someone less fortunate. And I’m sure you and I would still love that child just as much as one of our own. But the thing is Rose...you _are_ ovulating, so your ovaries can’t be entirely damaged. If you can ovulate, you can still get pregnant. And I’m sorry, but those probably under qualified Torchwood doctors with a lowercase ‘d’ said your womb was ‘inhospitable to human life’, they didn’t say anything about half-human, half-Time Lord life. Kind of seems like a challenge to me.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, peering up at him through tear-stained lashes.

“I’m saying, Rose Tyler,” he murmured, tilting her chin up with his finger. “That if you’ll let me, I want to try to put a half-alien baby in your inhospitable belly because fuck Torchwood. Seriously, I know they got you back to me but they’re a bunch of goddamn life ruiners. If you want a baby, right now is probably the best chance we’ll ever have without scientific or medical intervention.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Real suave, Doctor. I bet Casanova learned all his moves from you.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “As a matter of fact, he did, but that’s a story for another time, like when I’m not trying to get into your knickers.”

“I’m not wearing any knickers.”

He looked down at her and gasped in mock surprise. “So you aren’t! That’s mighty convenient. But I seem to still be in my pants, and that’s kind of a problem in this whole baby making equation. Think you could help me with that?”

“Bless. You forgot how to undress yourself when you regenerated?” she teased, tugging his pants over his hips. “I’m amazed now that you were able to get your suit and shoes off, so many buttons and laces…”

“Oh, get off!” he growled, but his shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.

“Oh, I planned on it. But I’m gonna need you to get on top first,” she purred coyly.

“I see what you did there. But I think it can be arranged,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and rolling his body so that she was underneath of him. The grin faded from his face and his expression became much more sober as he gazed down at her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing at all is wrong, everything is perfect. I’m just memorizing this moment and how beautiful you are,” he whispered, tilting his head down to kiss her. “I love you, Rose Marion Tyler. I always have, and I always will. I promise I will never leave your side again, not willingly.”

“I love you too,” she replied, her breath catching in her throat. She felt guilty for ever having doubted him. “I made my choice a long time ago...and I’m still never gonna leave you.”

He kissed her again, soft and hesitant. Both of them had apparently turned into shy, anxious teenagers somewhere between the oral sex and the serious adult conversation, and those first few touches were tender but tentative. Eventually, the Doctor regained his confidence, and his kisses became more intense and insistent, his touches more desperate and feverish. Between them, she could feel his length growing hard again and the maddening ache at her core returned. Bending her knees, she lifted her legs and locked her ankles behind his back, forcing him closer to where she needed him. The tip of his cock slipped between her still slick folds and bumped teasingly against her clit, making her twitch like a pinned butterfly. Why was he tormenting her?

“Because I may not last all that long, and I want this moment to last forever,” he answered, nuzzling the crook of her neck and nipping the skin there. “Also, you love the torture. The anticipation makes the climax that much more intense.”

“You’re still reading my thoughts,” she said, more of a statement than an accusation.

“Every time I kiss you, I get a glimpse of what you’re thinking. I’m not trying to do it on purpose, but I’m a touch telepath and it’s really hard to shut that stuff out when my mind’s preoccupied. Your breasts and your lips and your...well, everything are all rather distracting,” he confessed.

“You can always go back to the appetizer if you aren’t full after the main course,” she suggested helpfully.

He chuckled. “Touche.”

“You seem nervous.”

“I am. Both of us have been building this moment up in our minds for ages, I just hope I can live up to the expectations. I’d hate to let you down.”

“Doctor,” she implored, biting her lip seductively.. “Please, I need you. Make love to me, before we both spontaneously combust of sexual frustration.”

“Oh hell, I always did have a hard time saying no to you,” he acquiesced, rolling his hips and finally, blissfully sheathing himself in her silken warmth. 

It was a tight fit, and both of them inhaled sharply as he sank fully into her. For a moment, the Doctor remained still and silent with eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling shakily through his nose, hands braced on the bed on either side of her shoulders as he leaned over her. When he finally opened them, his eyes were large and glassy, the pupils dilated small and dark as a distant black hole. Very slowly, he began to roll his hips, thrusting in and out of her and creating a gentle but intense friction unlike anything she’d ever felt before. Sex was somewhat formulaic, but the way the Doctor moved and felt inside of her was just...different. Better. It felt like their bodies were more in tune, but given he’d said he was a touch telepath, that wasn’t much of a stretch. It probably didn’t hurt that he was almost twice as girthy and a good four or five inches longer than the biggest guy she’d ever slept with, either.

“Is this okay?” he whispered self-consciously. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“This is better than okay, and no, you aren’t hurting me. Unlike most arrogant guys with big tools, you apparently actually know how to properly wield yours,” she said, dragging her fingernails across his shoulders. “Keep doing what you’re doing...I like it.”

That smug grin made a reappearance. “Well, unlike the average guy, I had centuries to hone my craft before I met you.”

“So what you’re telling me is that before you met me, you were a big, intergalactic space slut shagging your way through the stars? No wonder you were so concerned about having condoms. We definitely can’t be friends if you give me space chlamydia,” she teased.

He rolled his eyes. “Relax. The last time I gave anyone space chlamydia was four or five bodies ago. Poor Casanova. He did recover though. Eventually.”

She smacked his chest. “Stop playing. You didn’t shag Casanova.”

“Wanna bet?” he smirked. “I told you I taught him all his moves, what did you think I meant? TIme Lords were a bit more flexible when it came to dancing.”

“So did you and Jack ever…?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course not. I was too busy pining for you to get involved with him like that. Lord knows that didn’t stop him from trying when we all traveled together, though.”

“There’s so much I don’t know about you,” she lamented.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, kissing her reassuringly . “I’ve finally got the time and the stones to tell it all to you.”

“Later,” she replied, tilting her hips. “After you’re done rocking my universe.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll ever be done doing that, not if I have my way.”

“Enough talk for now,” she hushed him, pressing a finger to his lips. “Speak to me without words. Make love to me. Put a baby in my belly.”

That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed, as he readjusted himself and started moving again. The angle was different though, the friction much more strategic and effective-every time he thrust into her, the base of his cock rubbed enticingly against her already swollen and overly sensitive clit. “Holy shit,” she gasped, clutching fistfulls of sheets. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“That was kinda the idea,” he ground out, voice ragged. “Christ Rose...you feel so good.”

“So do you,” she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillows. All the emotions, all the sensations, it was almost too much all at once and her brain was humming like a live wire. Somehow, he managed to maintain his position and still bend his head and take her nipple into his mouth, and when his teeth grazed against her desperate flesh and teased it taut, she felt something unfurl deep inside of her. Her orgasm washed over her, as strong and powerful as the waves at Bad Wolf Bay. He swallowed her cries with his mouth, pressing his lips against hers and holding her close as she shuddered and writhed underneath him.

“It’s unfair how good you are at that,” she said, shivering. “You should’ve warned me.”

“I did say I would rock your universe, did I not?” he asked with a satisfied smile.

“Did you…?” she asked, gesturing crudely.

“Not yet,” he answered. “But I will.”

“When?”

“After you have a few more times and the face you make when you come is burned into my memory for the rest of eternity.”  
“I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ll be seeing me make that face often in the future,” she assured him.

“Gods, I hope so,” he prayed, propping her legs up so they were resting on his shoulders. 

After readjusting himself, he resumed thrusting, the pace slightly more phrenetic than it had been before. Though she wasn’t inside his head, she could feel the emotions, the desperation and desire and want, just pouring off of him. He was aching for release, but holding out to prolong her pleasure, almost as if he were waiting for permission or punishing himself.

“I want to feel you come,” she growled into his ear, letting her teeth catch against the lobe and tug gently.

He groaned appreciatively. “Are you sure? Because it’s been a very long while for me too, and I’m kind of afraid I might literally blow you into another dimension when I do.”

“Whenever you’re done complaining, maybe you could try fucking me like you mean it. Unless you aren’t up to the challenge, of course,” she taunted.

He shook his head and thrust even harder. “I can’t believe I let you kiss me with that filthy mouth.”

“You like it.”

“You’ve got me there.”

He adjusted himself one last time, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up from the bed so that they were embracing, their faces nearly touching. It should’ve been physically impossible, but it wasn’t the most amazing thing he had done that night. That came next, and so did the two of them.

“Rose Tyler, I love you,” he said again, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips firmly against her own.

This time her vision went light, the pulsing heat of a white dwarf, before exploding in a confetti cloud of pink and yellow rose petals. Bliss, warm like a patch of autumn sun on a crisp October day, spread through her body, bringing with it waves of pleasure that washed over her like warm summer rain. Through his eyes she saw herself, face flushed pink with passion, lashes lying sootily against her cheeks, head thrown back in ecstasy. An intense feeling of love swept through her, all-encompassing and terrifying and wonderful. The edges of the vision began to go blurry, and a pressure started building deep within her. The feeling was familiar, but somehow foreign. At the same time, what felt like invisible hands began to caress her body, roaming over her breasts and thighs, massaging her nipples and her clit, making her feel like a string pulled tight over a candle’s flame. Pressure built, tension coiled, and stars exploded as the most exquisite orgasm she’d ever experienced ripped through her body. The aftershocks felt like they lasted an eternity, and she realized that what she had felt had been not one climax, but two-hers and his. Gradually, her vision sharpened and she faded back into herself. On top of her, the Doctor was lying sweaty and breathless, his head pillowed by her breasts. He lifted his head just enough to catch her gaze and smiled.

“So, did I rock your universe?” he asked.

She chuckled. “You know you did, you big Time Lordy show off.”

“I aim to please,” he replied, planting a gentle kiss between her breasts before rolling off of her and back onto the bed.

She turned over and snuggled up next to him, molding her body against his. “Do you think...do you think it worked? Did we make a baby?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, lacing his fingers through hers. “But I think we should probably shag again, just in case. To increase our chances and all that.”

“Hmmm, yes, to increase our chances,” she said facetiously. “Too bad this crap double bed is all sweaty and disgusting now.”

“Pretty sure I saw a shower in the bathroom. Wanna find out if it’s big enough to fit two hoping to become three?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She kissed him, chuckling. “Oh, I’m confident we can fit. You’ve proven how skilled you are at getting big things into tiny spaces.”

* * * * *

_One Month Later..._

When he came home from his job interview at one of the local engineering firms, he found Rose perched on the edge of the tub in the master bath, clutching a wad of tissues and sobbing. Boxes from empty pregnancy tests littered the floor, and the tests themselves were strewn all over the sink. He was pretty sure he already knew what had happened, but resisted the urge to skim the surface of her thoughts for confirmation. 

“What happened in here?” he asked gently, kneeling on the floor in front of her. “Were you watching the series finale of Six Feet Under again?”

“Shut up,” she answered, flinging the tissues on the ground. “Am I not supposed to cry when they play that bloody Sia song and you see Keith and David with their adopted kids? It’s sad!”

“It is sad,” he agreed sagely. “I couldn’t help but notice though that it looks like um...you were doing something in here.”

She looked up at him, eyes red and cheeks stained with tears. “I took a test. A pregnancy test. And then I took another. And another. Because I couldn’t believe what it said, I had to be sure.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “We can keep trying. Surely, Torchwood has to have access to treatments that wouldn’t otherwise be-”

She cut him off, pressing her finger to his lips. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No?” he replied, confused. “Then why all the tears and tissues?”

“I’m not crying because I’m sad, you git, I’m crying because I’m happy,” she laughed, grabbing his hands. She guided them to her abdomen and held them there, clasped with her own. “It worked, Doctor, you did it. You put a baby in my inhospitable womb.”

“You’re pregnant?” he asked her in disbelief. He had suspected and almost sensed it, but was afraid to believe it for fear it was just a combination of his own overactive imagination and wishful thinking.

She nodded, eyes shining with tears. “I’m pregnant, Doctor. We’re gonna have a baby.”

_To Be Continued…???_


End file.
